If I Only Knew Then
by ee-ii-ee-ii-oo
Summary: Looking to the past, there is always a question of 'what if'. What if I said this? What if I didn't say that? What if I had just told him? ... Juliette suddenly and painfully finds herself asking if she waited too long to tell him her secret. And now ... she may never get the chance.
1. Chapter 1

**If I Only Knew Then...**

So I wasn't planning to start another story before the new season started, but this basically wrote itself. It will be a two, or maybe, three chapter story. It's pretty dark, compared to some of my other stuff, so I apologize in advance.

Disclaimer: Characters, ect, belong to ABC and Callie Khouri. I'm just borrowing.

Would love to hear what you think, so hit the review section after you read this chapter...

* * *

><p>"That sounds good, Juliette. We can pick back up there tomorrow."<p>

She nodded from where she stood inside the sound booth, faking a smile and desperately working to avoid meeting his eyes. She busied herself gathering her water bottle and lyric sheet before she stepped back into the room where Avery was most certainly working his magic on the song they had just laid vocals down on. She was about to start making small talk, as had become her routine around him, when Glenn and Bo suddenly appeared in the doorway.

She could tell by the look in their eyes that something wasn't quite right. "What's going on?" She could feel Avery's eyes on her, following her as she walked over to the two older men. "I drove myself over, I didn't need a ride."

"Yeah, well, you do now," Glenn said, his voice tense. "There were some letters in with your mail."

Juliette's breath caught. "Again? I thought that was over?"

"Emily found three in there today. Did you get your mail over the weekend?" She shook her head no, fighting a bit of dizziness that threatened in her head. "We've got the police working on it. They just don't have any leads."

Even from across the room, Juliette was aware of Avery's concern. She could almost feel him tense up at her bodyguard's words. Her suspicions were confirmed when he spoke out, unable to stand it any longer. "Are you talking about the guy from months ago?"

The older men nodded as Juliette finally turned and looked at him. For a brief moment, their eyes met.

"And if the letters are anything to go by, he is even more desperate now," Glenn confirmed and looked back down at Juliette. "For the time being, Bo goes with you everywhere. No exceptions. Hopefully the detectives will get some better clues this time."

"Okay," she whispered, unable to stop the slight tremble in her voice.

"Are you ready to go?" Bo asked.

"Yeah. Just let me grab my bag." She turned to face Avery as she picked up the Hermes bag from the nearby leather couch. "Are you headed out?" Juliette asked him hesitantly after her manager and bodyguard had stepped back out into the hallway to wait for her.

"I'm going to stay here and try to get a little more done on the song. You know, while it's still fresh in my mind."

She could tell he was distracted, and had been all day, but she wasn't about to push him as to why. Their relationship hadn't healed to the point where it was her business. They had settled into a routine, a professional relationship of artist and producer, as she worked on her first album for Highway 65. It was all she could ask for after what she had done. There was no reason to expect more after she hurt him. She understood that. In the six weeks since she made the biggest mistake of her life with Jeff, Avery had made himself available to her, as a producer first and a friend second. And despite the fact that she still loved him with every ounce of her being, she had no right to ask for anything more. Except she knew she would have to ... and soon. But it could wait. Now wasn't the time. "Yeah. So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll be here," he said, eyes on the notes he had jotted down while they were recording.

Juliette forced a smile to her face and nodded awkwardly. "Okay," she responded as she turned to walk away.

"Hey." The sound of his voice, filled with emotion she hadn't heard since before he found out about Jeff, stopped her cold. She turned and met his worried stare. "Be careful out there. This guy ... just ... do what Glenn said. Don't go anywhere without Bo. I ... don't want anything to happen to you."

There was a moment between them. His words felt so full of meaning she had to force herself not to read anything into them. As she looked into his eyes, she wondered if he could still read her like a book like he used to. If he could tell she was holding something back from him. She wouldn't doubt it. He'd always been able to see past the walls she put up. And now with the stalker ... and everything else... But rather than continue the conversation, he looked away, back toward the soundboard, breaking the spell. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair as she walked out the door to Glenn and Bo.

* * *

><p>"I miss Jay Leno," Scarlett said as she sat down in the chair next to the sofa where her uncle sat, feet up on the coffee table, remote in his hand.<p>

Deacon looked up at the image of Jimmy Fallon on the television screen and chuckled, shaking his head at his niece. "Carson. That man was quality entertainment. All these other guys are just wanna bes."

"Well, I guess I was just born too late to understand the greatness of Mr. Carson." She sipped gingerly from her mug of cocoa. "Do you know what song Rayna is singing?"

Deacon shook his head. "Nope."

Scarlett tilted her head and studied his face. "She still hasn't given you an answer?"

"Haven't heard from her since I left her house that night." Deacon swallowed the lump in his throat. "I guess that's pretty much my answer. But until she tells me ..." His voice faded out as his emotions threatened to spill over. He looked over to see the young woman staring at him, sadness in her eyes. "Don't worry about me. Just watch the damn show. That George Clooney guy you ladies always fawn over is on next."

Scarlett shook her head at him in dismay, wondering if he would ever be able to move on. The sound of her phone buzzing on the end table pulled her attention from him. She moved to pick it up, confusion marring her face as she read the name on the screen.

"Who is it?" Deacon asked, seeing her perplexed expression.

"Avery's mama. That's weird," she said as she accepted the call. "Diane?"

"Thank God, I was able to reach you, honey!" There was panic in the voice on the other end of the phone, and the young blonde immediately felt her pulse quicken.

Setting the mug on the table, she motioned for Deacon to mute the television. "What's going on?"

"The hospital down there, um, Vanderbilt, I guess, called us. Avery's there. He's in surgery. Someone found him ..." She dissolved into sobs as Scarlett forced herself to remain calm. Deacon was suddenly beside her, obviously clued in by her facial expression that something wasn't right. "He was in a parking lot somewhere. He was robbed or attacked or something. The police didn't have many details. Oh my baby," the older woman whispered, clearly trying to keep it together, but failing miserably.

Scarlett didn't hesitate in offering help. Avery was still her friend, and the thought that he was hurt, maybe dying, scared her. "Do you want me to go there? Is that why you called?"

The older woman took some deep breaths and finally was able to talk again. "Please. I know they won't tell you much, and I know that you two aren't together anymore, but I can't bear to think of him there all alone. We won't be there for another six hours. There weren't any flights because of the weather here. So Ed and I are driving in."

"Okay, I'm with Uncle Deacon. We'll go up to the hospital and wait." The two women finished up their conversation quickly and said their goodbyes.

"What the hell is going on? Is Avery okay?" Deacon demanded, as soon as the call was over. He had already grabbed his keys and was headed to the door.

Scarlett grabbed her purse and fell into step behind him. "Somebody found him in a parking lot somewhere. He was beaten or robbed. He's in surgery at Vanderbilt."

Deacon shook his head in disgust. "Damn it." The pair jumped into Deacon's truck and sped toward town.

As the truck turned onto the main road that would get them to the downtown facility, Scarlett spoke up and broke the ominous silence that had engulfed them. "We should call Juliette. Let her know what happened. I know things are strained between them, but she should know. He would want her there."

Deacon looked over at Scarlett, only a little surprised. "Yeah. I'll do it when we get there," he said nodding.

* * *

><p>The bleating of her phone only made her headache worse. Juliette couldn't fathom why someone would be calling her after midnight. When she had gotten home from the studio she was exhausted and all she had wanted to do was sleep, but she had struggled to calm her nerves after getting word that the stalker who had been sending her letters for months was back at it again. She thought it was over. She'd had crazed fans before. It wasn't out of the ordinary. But this person seemed ... different. More unstable. And it scared her. Especially now. As that thought returned to her mind, she sat up for fear of who might be on the other end of the line. She grabbed her phone and sighed in relief when she saw Deacon's name. That relief was short lived.<p>

"Hey Deacon," she said, fighting the sleepiness in her voice.

"Hey." She could tell his voice was tense. Something was very wrong. "Look ... I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in the surgical waiting room at Vanderbilt. They brought Avery in about an hour ago." Panic rose up through her and the knot in her gut only grew bigger. "He was attacked in a parking lot somewhere. That's really all I know but ..."

"I'm on my way," she said, cutting him off and suddenly wide awake. Ending the call, she scrambled to throw on a pair of jeans and a tshirt. Bo, who had been watching TV and keeping guard in the living room heard the commotion and was immediately in Juliette's doorway. She glanced up at him as she searched for some shoes in her closet. "I need you to take me to Vanderbilt."

"Juliette -"

She looked up at him, a darkness in her eyes that stopped Bo's protests cold. "Don't argue with me, Bo. Avery's in surgery. Somebody attacked him." The burly bodyguard's demeanor immediately changed to one of concern for the man who he considered a friend. He quickly followed her to the garage.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe this is happening," Scarlett said softly as she sat on the uncomfortable boxy sofa in the surgical waiting room.<p>

Deacon leaned against a wall and stared out the window that looked over the hospital's parking lot. It was nearly one a.m. and Nashville looked fairly quiet and peaceful ... a far cry from the battle that he knew his young friend was fighting just down the hall in the operating room. Scarlett had spoken to his mother again who had gotten an update from a nurse. It was bad. Really bad and they weren't sure what the outcome would be. "He's a fighter," he said, looking down at his niece.

"I know," she said, looking up from her hands, which she had been wringing since they got there. Deacon watched as something on the other side of the room caught her attention. He followed her eyes and saw Juliette, looking broken and frazzled and pale, standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her as she collapsed into him.

"How did this happen?" She asked as he lead her over to a chair near where Scarlett sat. Deacon only vaguely noticed Bo standing quietly at the door. "What have they told you?"

Scarlett took a deep breath knowing how awful the words would sound to the other woman. "The nurse in the OR called his mom and gave her an update. She called and told me that he was stabbed three times and they are working to stop the bleeding ... but he lost a lot. He has some broken ribs and a collapsed lung and there may be some mild swelling in his brain. He'll probably be in surgery for another four or five hours."

Hearing the words, the little bit of color that Juliette had in her face disappeared instantly and Deacon was seriously worried about her. He had known this would be difficult for her, but the physical reaction he wasn't expecting. She looked positively ill.

"Will he live?"

"They aren't sure," Scarlett whispered as Juliette dissolved into tears.

Deacon put an arm around her and she cried into his shoulder until she couldn't cry anymore.

The three still sat there silently a while later when two uniformed police officers, a man and a woman, appeared in the doorway. The male had a quickly whispered conversation with Bo before entering. His partner stood just behind him as they approached the trio. "Are you three here for Avery Barkley?"

Deacon took the lead, quickly responding. "Yes, we are."

"I'm Officer Carrington, Nashville PD. This is my partner, Officer Dell."

"Deacon Clayborne," said as he shook the officer's hand. "This is my niece Scarlett O'Connor. And this is Juliette Barnes."

The officer looked a little surprised, not that he was in the midst of celebrities. That was normal in the city. But he couldn't believe that the pale, sick looking woman seated beside the older man was the same woman who graced the cover of magazines and cosmetics commercials. She didn't look like the same person. He recovered quickly, nodded at them and sat on a nearby coffee table and pulled out a pad and pen from his pocket. "Can you all tell me what your relationship is to Mr. Barkley?"

Again, Deacon spoke first. "I'm a friend. He produced an album for me a little while back."

"I used to date him, but we're friends now," Scarlett replied solemnly.

"I'm his girlfriend," Juliette said without thinking. She shook her head and quickly corrected herself. "Ex-girlfriend, I mean. I don't know what exactly we are, to be honest. We're working on an album together right now. I saw him earlier tonight. At my studio."

"Is your studio on Broad?"

Juliette paused and then slowly nodded. "Yes."

"That was where he was found. In the parking lot." He looked up from the paper he was writing on and looked at her, sensing that she might be the key to cracking this case. "Do you know of anyone who would have an issue with Mr. Barkley?"

As Juliette silently shook her head, with tears again threatening, Scarlett spoke up from her seat. "No. Everyone likes him."

"I thought this was a robbery," Deacon pointed out, unsure of where the officer's line of questioning was going.

"That's what we thought initially." Officer Carrington sighed, glancing over at the other man. "But his wallet and his phone were both still in the pocket of his jacket. His keys were located at the scene. There was nothing taken and no evidence that points to a robbery. We think whoever did this had some issue with Mr. Barkley. A personal vendetta, a need for revenge or to send a message ..."

"Oh God." Juliette's eyes went wide and she felt like she was going to vomit as the realization hit her. "The letters."

The officer turned back to her. "What letters?"

She looked up at Bo who was now standing just inside the door. "Bo?!" She motioned him over. "The letters? Where are they?"

The bodyguard was immediately at her side. "We handed them over to Detective Wilson when he came to the house this afternoon."

Juliette looked back over at the officers, fighting to control the overwhelming fear that had settled in her chest. "I've been getting letters ... crazy letters from a fan ... or a stalker really ... they've gotten more personal and scarier in the last few days."

The police officer looked back at his partner. "Get Wilson on the phone," he commanded. Once his eyes turned back toward Juliette, he began to write furiously in his notepad. "If this guy is obsessed with you and believes that you and Mr. Barkely are an item, the stalker could see him as a barrier standing in his way. It would definitely create a motive."

Forcing back the bile that was threatening in her gut, she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "This is my fault."

"No, Juliette, this is not your fault. You cannot blame yourself for some nut job's instability," Deacon said softly, knowing that her already unbearable pain would only grow under these suspicions.

"If it weren't for me, he wouldn't be laying in that OR right now." As she whispered the words, she opened her eyes and stood up from the sofa. She moved slowly, as if in a haze to a chair on the other side of the room, where she curled up and sat down to cry. Both Deacon and Scarlett felt helpless.

* * *

><p>"Scarlett!" Deacon heard the voice first and shook his niece's shoulder, as a frantic middle-aged female version of Avery rushed into the room. She was followed by a man in his early 60s, weathered and bound by muscles, who had clearly spent most of his life working with his hands. Nothing reminded Deacon of Avery in him, except for the steely blue eyes which were a mirror image of the young producer's.<p>

Scarlett, who had fallen asleep an hour before struggled to sit up and immediately found herself embraced by Diane Barkley. "Diane! I'm so glad you guys made it. Have you gotten an update?"

"The nurse called a few minutes ago. They are finishing up the surgery. He made it through and will be taken to recovery. It's still touch and go. But he made it through the surgery."

"Kid's tougher than I thought," Avery's father said gruffly, in a snide way that didn't sit well with Deacon.

Diane ignored her husband's comment with a practiced countenance and continued. "They are going to keep him in a medically induced coma for at least 24 hours, because they are still concerned about the swelling around his brain," she said, fighting small tears that threatened.

The four stood in silence for a moment as the reality sunk in. Avery's mom hugged Scarlett again and while his dad shuffled his feet around the room a bit, Deacon eying the other man skeptically. Eventually, Ed pause in front of the chair where Juliette was still sound asleep, no doubt from exhaustion.

"Who the hell is that?" Ed turned back toward Deacon and Scarlett.

The young woman looked up at him. "That's Juliette. She's Avery's-"

"Oh, right. The blonde bimbo singer my son attached himself to just to get ahead in the farce of a thing they call the music business," he said harshly, eyes rolling with disdain.

Deacon wasn't sure what angered him more. The man's harsh and unfounded criticism of Juliette or his absolute dismissal of his own son's talent. He struggled to keep his mouth shut, knowing that this man, though he didn't show it, was hurting. He knew that causing a scene wouldn't benefit anyone.

Fortunately, the tension was broken when Officer Carrington stepped back into the room. Seeing two new occupants, he introduced himself, assuming correctly that they were Avery's parents. As he began to fill them in, Juliette woke up, rubbed her eyes and sat up, listening in to what the police officer was saying.

"... And now that we have the letters, we've sped up the process and are analyzing them to see if we can get a finger print or DNA sample."

"Wait. What letters?" Ed asked, staring down the officer.

Officer Carrington had thought his parents had been updated. The awkwardness in the room was palpable. "The, um, letters that were sent to Miss Barnes' home. We have reason to believe that the same person who sent those letters could be responsible for the attack on your son."

Avery's dad moved his glare to Juliette, who was still sitting in the nearby chair. Though she had been asleep when they came in, she immediately knew that these were Avery's parents. She withered back into the chair as she avoided his stare.

"So this is your fault? If it weren't for you, my son wouldn't be in there on his death bed?"

For a moment the room was still. Diane looked embarrassed, but remained silent, as Scarlett looked on in shock and Deacon seethed and fought to keep the rage inside. After a moment of deep breaths, Juliette finally dredged up enough courage to look up at him, directly meeting the same blue eyes that used to bring so much comfort. In his father, they were almost terrifying. "You can't blame me any more than I already blame myself," she said, uncharacteristically quiet in her tone. With that, she stood up and excused herself to the ladies room just across the hall.

As soon as she entered the ladies room she dove toward the nearest stall, emptying the contents of her stomach. She wasn't sure how long it took for her to stop heaving, but when she was done, she knew she wasn't alone. She heard the sink running for a moment. Seconds later a hand slipped under the stall, offering her a wet paper towel to wipe her face with. Hesitating only for a second, she took the cloth and leaned against the bottom of the stall, her legs curled up against her chest.

A thick southern accent bounced off the walls, and only then did Juliette know who the hand had belonged to. "I should have warned you. Avery's dad can kind of be an ass." Scarlett was leaning against the wall nearby but Juliette could only see her sandal-clad feet.

"No kidding," the superstar sniffled.

"For what it's worth, you didn't deserve that. It isn't your fault Juliette." Juliette shook her head at the other woman, even though she knew it wouldn't be seen. Scarlett was just placating her, but she appreciated the effort. It didn't change anything.

An awkward silence engulfed the beige tile-covered room. For a moment the two women just got lost in their own minds, neither one wanting to speak.

Finally Scarlett cleared her throat softly before asking the question she'd been wondering all night. "Are you pregnant?"

Juliette's eyes widened and for a moment she panicked. But she was cornered. She could lie about it, but what good would it do. Scarlett figured it out on her own and there was no way to convince her otherwise. It was too late. Despite the irony that the first person she was admitting it to was the woman she was so jealous of for so long, she couldn't deny it any longer. "Yes," she whispered so softly that Scarlett almost missed it.

"Were you pregnant when you two broke up?"

Juliette slowly stood and shuffled out of the stall. She glanced Scarlett's direction briefly as she moved over to the sink. "The doctor said I'm a little more than eight weeks along. So it happened about two weeks before ... before everything ... before I destroyed it all."

"Does Avery know?" Scarlett asked, with sadness, not judgement in her voice.

"Not yet," Juliette whispered, realization suddenly hitting her, causing her heart to shatter even more than it already was. "Oh, God. Now he may never know. I didn't tell him." As she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw nothing but shame and fear as she once again dissolved into tears, as the reflection of the other blonde faded into fuzziness in the mirror.

"I didn't tell him," she repeated through her sobs.


	2. Chapter 2

**If I Only Knew Then**

I don't own anything. ABC, Callie, etc, own it all. Also, the song I'm borrowing is called "Take Me With You When You Go" and it was written and recorded by Lori McKenna. Do yourself a favor and go check out her albums "Lorraine" and "Massachusetts." She is an amazing alt country singer/songwriter. You'll thank me later.

Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are fantastic. I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter.

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><p>Scarlett watched as Juliette, closely followed by her bodyguard, disappeared around the corner. She had told her to go home and rest, that she would text her when the coast was clear for the superstar to come back, without Ed Barkley's scrutiny and criticism. Shaking her head, she turned and walked back into the waiting room where Deacon was sitting on the couch glaring at the back of the other man's head. If looks could kill ...<p>

She took the spot next to her uncle with a sigh and he immediately looked over at her, with worry in his eyes. "How is she?"

"Um." Scarlett hesitated, only briefly considering telling Deacon about the baby. But she knew it wasn't her place, despite the fact that Juliette needed as much support as she could get right now. But he would know in time. "She's okay. She went home to rest. I told her I would let her know when they went to a hotel," she said softly.

Deacon nodded. "She needs sleep. She looks sick, and I'm worried about her."

"Yeah," was all Scarlett could respond.

After a few moments of silence, Ed turned around and looked into Scarlett's eyes. "Is the bimbo gone?"

Deacon could feel his blood pressure rising as the older man spoke, knowing that any will power he had mustered before was gone. Clenching his jaw and his fists, he braced himself to stand. But before he could, Scarlett grabbed his arm and dug her nails into the skin. The pain momentarily pulled the rage from Deacon.

But rather than let Avery's father get away with his comment, the young woman stood and faced him. "You're wrong about her Mr. Barkley," she said, her voice even, and unusually strong. "You're wrong about both of them. She isn't just some flash in the pan. She is an incredible singer and talented songwriter. And Avery ... he didn't use her to get ahead. He loved her and she did ... does love him."

The man glared at her, ignoring the pained look on his wife's face as she watched him anxiously. "Scarlett, you know as well as I do, better than anyone really, that my son never cared about anyone more than he cared about that damn music he always made. He's too stubborn to realize what a waste of time it is."

A pin drop could be heard in the room. No one moved. No one said a word.

"I'm really sorry you feel that way," Scarlett finally said, never breaking eye contact.

A throat was cleared behind them, breaking the tension. They turned to find a woman in blue scrubs and a white lab coat standing in the door way. She introduced herself as Avery's surgeon and filled them in on his condition. Still critical. The Barkleys soon followed her to his recovery room, leaving Deacon and Scarlett behind in the waiting room.

"My God, I wanted to punch that guy in the face," Deacon said in frustration. "Why didn't you let me handle it."

"Because you would have punched him in the face." Scarlett pointed out as she shook her head. "That's not what anyone needs right now." Deacon nodded, stood from the couch and wrapped his arms around her, grateful that she hadn't let him act out his frustrations. "Now what?" she asked.

Her uncle shrugged. "I guess we keep waiting."

* * *

><p>The dawn was breaking at the same moment they hit the parking lot. Juliette was moving so fast, Bo could hardly keep up.<p>

"You okay?" he couldn't help but ask, worried about her.

"What do you think?" Juliette responded as she placed her aviator sunglasses on her face. It wasn't an attempt to protect her eyes from the sun that was only just beginning to peek over the Tennessee hills. Her puffy, bloodshot eyes were the last thing she needed photogrpahed at the moment. And Avery's privacy was important to her.

Bo could tell that she had no intention of doing anymore talking, so he cranked up the SUV and headed toward Juliette's home. A few blocks away from the hospital, Juliette broke the silence.

"Turn left up here."

The bodyguard glanced back at her. "Juliette, you need to go home and sleep."

"Bo, turn left."

"Where are we going?" he sighed and turned on the blinker. He knew it was a battle he wasn't going to win.

"The studio."

"No, Juliette," Bo said quickly. "That's not a good idea. Aside from the fact that your stalker may have been there last night, the police probably have the whole thing cordoned off. And you don't need to see where ... it ... happened."

But Juliette wasn't giving up. "Just drive by it and let's see," she whined, sounding almost childlike. "I want to go inside if we can. You will be with me. I just ... please ... Bo I can't be with him right now. Not with his parents there. This is where I want to go."

He sighed and relented. The parking lot was still wrapped in bright yellow crime tape, and was surrounded by police officers, but the back door wasn't blocked, so they were able to access her studio inside the large building with ease. After checking the room, Bo could tell she needed privacy, so he stood outside the door to give her time.

Juliette looked around the dimly lit studio, emotions high. She didn't really know why she wanted to be there. All she knew was that there, she felt close to him. As close as she could without being at his side. She ran her fingers along the edge of the soundboard and then across the back of the leather office chair where Avery sat while they recorded. She could remember the day they recorded "Don't Put Dirt On My Grave Just Yet." She had sat in his lap, his arm casually around her waist, as she leaned into him in that very chair while they listened to the playback of her vocals. It felt so natural ... like home.

She sat down, curling her legs up under her and looked into the booth filled with instruments and equipment. The piano, where she once caught Avery playing a Barry Manilow song and had teased him endlessly about for days. "He wrote great songs," had been his sheepish retort. "They make the whole world sing." He was a fanilow ... who knew? She couldn't help but giggle at that memory.

Her eyes moved to the studio laptop. She moved the cursor to power up the screen, only find an early version of the song she had recorded the night before ready to go. Pressing play she leaned back and as the the piano and guitar chords he had recorded himself filled the room. She knew he was planning to bring in studio musicians later in the process, but she couldn't help but think it was perfect just the way it was.

When her vocals came in, Juliette couldn't help but think about how strong he made her voice sound. No producer had ever made her sound so good. And to think that it was in spite of the awkwardness and secrets. He just brought it out in her.

_When you're some place just out of reach or worse_  
><em>When you're lost among the stars.<em>  
><em>When you're drifting off on a memory<em>  
><em>Search in your secret heart.<em>

_Take me with you when you go,_  
><em>I want to walk beside you now.<em>  
><em>We were not meant to be alone<em>  
><em>On this tired crooked road, take me,<em>  
><em>Take me with you when you go.<em>

She closed her eyes and just listened to the words. When he brought her the song he had written, she had been awestruck by the lyrics.

_When you've gone as far as you can from home_  
><em>Caught every tie that held you down.<em>  
><em>When you can't remember what you're running from<em>  
><em>And you still don't know where you're bound.<em>

_Take me with you when you go,_  
><em>I want to walk beside you now.<em>  
><em>We were not meant to be alone<em>  
><em>On this tired crooked road, take me,<em>  
><em>Take me with you when you go.<em>

She opened her eyes for a moment and spied the stack of papers where he kept his notes on every song they recorded. She hesitated only for a moment before flipping through the pages on the soundboard's desk. She traced the slightly messy script with her index finger before turning the page. She gasped slightly as she realized she was looking at the original lyric sheet to the song she was listening to. She knew the words by heart at that point, so that wasn't what hit her. It was the date, printed in the top left hand corner of the sheet. It only took her a short time to realize that this was written while she was out in LA, singing with Howie V's orchestra and dressing up like some crazy zombie goddess. That was all it took to cause her to break down yet again. Placing one hand on her stomach, she curled up even further into the chair and just cried as the song finished.

_When the corners of the page are wearing thin_  
><em>And the last light of the day begins to dim.<em>  
><em>Take me, take me in, take me in.<em>

_Take me with you when you go,_  
><em>I want to walk beside you now.<em>  
><em>We're not meant to be alone<em>  
><em>On this tired crooked road, take me,<em>  
><em>Take me with you when you go.<em>  
><em>Take me, take me with you when you go.<em>

A while later, she wasn't sure how long she had been there or how many times she had listened to the song on repeat, the sound of her phone buzzing in her purse eventually pulled her from her heartbreaking realization. Glancing at the screen, she saw that it was a text from Scarlett.

_"Avery's parents went to a hotel to sleep. I told them I would stay with him. Now might be a good time for a visit."_

It only took seconds for her to be out the door, leading Bo back to the car.

* * *

><p>Scarlett met her at the door of Avery's ICU room. "Hey."<p>

"Hey. How is he?"

"The nurse said he is stable, which is good. She said we should talk to him ... that it helps." Scarlett paused briefly. "You should tell him. Who knows if he can hear. But it might be just what he needs to keep fighting." Then placing a hand on the other blonde's shoulder she disappeared.

Juliette looked around the room, sterile and silent, with the exception of the slow beeping of Avery's heart monitor. It was the only thing that convinced her that he was actually still alive. The gray palor of his skin wasn't encouraging, nor were the tubes and wires his body was hooked up to.

"Hey." She whispered. She suddenly felt awkward talking to him, uncertain whether he would even want her there. She shivered as she lowered herself into the chair next to his bed. "It's me."

"I have something to tell you." She leaned in close to his face and brushed a stray lock of dark hair back away from his eyes, revealing a deep purple bruise on his forehead. "I'm having a baby... Our baby," she said softly, taking his hand for the first time in weeks. "I can't be completely sure, but I think from what my doctor told me it probably happened when I got back from LA, after meeting with Howie V. You remember that day, right? That was the same day you wrote 'Take Me With You.' And that night ... "

Her fingers lightly caressed the skin on his cheek, as she smiled at the memory from before it all went so horribly wrong. "I was so happy when she told me how far along I was. The thought of having ... his ... baby ... I just couldn't handle that possibility. But to know for sure that it's yours was a relief," she said, pausing and inhaling deeply before continuing.

"I know that we aren't together anymore. That I broke us. And I don't know how you will deal with this ... when you wake up. The choice is yours and I won't force you into anything. But I do promise I will be a good mama. I'll try, anyway. Becuase this baby is part of you. A part of both of us that I'll cherish ... no matter what happens. I should have told you right after I found out. It wasn't fair for me not to. I regret it now." A single tear made it's way down her cheek. "Avery, you can't leave me. Not without knowing about your baby. Not without meeting your son or daughter. Please."

She laid her head down awkwardly on his shoulder as more tears soaked into the fabric of his hospital gown.

"What are you doing here?"

Juliette froze at the low voice behind her. Avery's father. Fear spread through her body as she braced for the rage that was about to be unleashed. She was certain of it. Instead, she didn't hear a word. The man's loud footsteps echoed through the Intensive Care Unit and gradually disappeared, instead. A wave of panic rushed over her, wondering if he had heard, as she moved to follow him.

"Mr. Barkely!" she said as soon as she found him pacing silently in front of his wife in the waiting room. She was only vaguely aware of Bo shadowing her every move. She walked over to them, very consious of the other people in the room. Ed and Diane both looked at her. Him with anger, her with confusion.

She paused in silence, looking at them, one to the other.

"Why are you here!?" Avery's father finally asked accusingly.

"I needed to talk to him. See him," she said quietly as she looked around as the families of other patients began to stare and recognize her. "Can we talk somewhere more private. Please?"

He crossed his arms and stood firm, almost as if he was daring her to deal with this out in the open. Juliette was shocked when his seemingly timid wife looked over at him and warned him with her eyes and a word. "Ed."

"Fine," he said relenting, gesturing for Juliette to lead the way.

Juliette spotted a stairwell just outside the waiting room and walked in that direction, not looking back to see if they were following. She knew they were. When the door was closed, she stood facing the wall, debating where to begin. "I loved your son. Love your son," she quickly corrected. "That's why I'm here. Because Iove him."

"Young lady, I'm sorry but you have no idea what your talking about. You're fooling yourself," Ed Barkely said tersely. "My son doesn't care about anything but that damn noise he claims is music. He is wasting his life on it when he should be focused on getting a real job, making a worthwhile living for himself."

Juliette fought the nausea that had settled in her gut at the man's heartless words that did nothing but anger her. She turned and stared him down, feeling a fire in her soul that she hadn't felt in weeks.

"That's where you are wrong, Mr. Barkley. I've been in this business a while and have never met anyone who can so genuinely connect with music the way Avery does. He helped me find my voice when I didn't know I had one anymore. He supported me at some of the lowest times in my life. He helped me stand up for myself on more than one occasion. He took the songs we wrote and engineered them into masterpieces. Because the music that you claim he is wasting his time on is what he was born to do. It's life for him." She clinched her fists at her side, fighting not to raise her voice any more than she already had. "You may not understand it ... but I can't help but wonder if you ever really tried to."

He heard her. She could tell that the words had sunk in. But instead of acknowledging that, he dismissed her, scoffing and rolling his eyes. "What were you doing in my son's room?"

She backed away slightly, glancing over at Avery's mother and taking a deep breath. "I had to tell him ... I had to tell him that he's going to be a father."

At the shocked expressions, she turned defiantly on her heel and walked away without another word.

* * *

><p>4:12 am ... 5:47 am ... 7:31 am ... 8:22 am<p>

Juliette lay in bed and counted the minutes as they ticked by slowly on the nearby alarm clock. After returning home around noon the previous day - after telling the Barkley's they were going to be grandparents, in the worst possible way - she had immediately fallen into bed, exhausted. She had slept restlessly, off and on until midnight. But after that, all she could do is lay there watching time pass in slow motion, unable to think of anything but Avery. She couldn't go back up to the hospital. Not after the incident in the stairwell. Scarlett had been kind enough to keep her updated via text, though nothing had really changed. He was still stable but critical. There was absolutely nothing she could do to change any of it.

So she prayed. And she cried. And she let her mind wander into the what could be's ... both good and bad. She thought of how this baby could be the bridge that brings them back together. She saw the three of them, a family. The house, with the yard ... maybe a puppy for the child to play with. Maybe even a sibling, eventually. All of them blissfully happy. And then she thought of having to raise this child alone. Would it be because he still couldn't stand the thought of her, or because he didn't survive this? Would she be able to do it without him? Would she turn into Jolene and be a horrible mother?

So many questions were running though her head as she lay there for hours.

Suddenly her phone rang. An unrecognizable number popped up on the screen. Fear caused her blood to run cold. Had the stalker, the person she was certain had harmed the man she loved so deeply, somehow gotten her phone number? She thought about not answering and letting voicemail pick up. But she knew she was safe. All the doors and windows were locked and Bo was just steps away in the living room. With shaking hands, she accepted the call.

"Hello?" she asked with trepidation.

"Juliette?" a female voice asked hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"It's Diane Barkley."

Juliette sat up in her bed, worried that something had changed. That she was calling to tell her bad news. How had she even gotten her number? And why? "Mrs. Barkley ..."

"Please, it's Diane. I hope you don't mind me calling. Scarlett gave me your number."

"No, it's fine," she said quickly. "Is everything okay?"

"Nothing has changed with Avery," the woman said in a kind voice. "Is there anyway we could talk? In person? Just us."

An hour later, the two women were seated in the back corner of a coffee shop near the hospital. Bo was discretely sitting at a nearby table, where he could watch both the door and Juliette. For few moments, neither woman said a word. Juliette stared down at her hands nervously while Diane focused on stiring the cream into her coffee.

Finally the older woman broke the wall of silence. "Thank you for meeting me here."

"It's good," Juliette said, a small smile appearing on her face. "That we get a chance to talk, I mean."

Diane took a deep breath before launching into an explanation. "I wanted to apologize for my husband's behavior toward you yesterday. Since we got here, really."

The younger woman shook her head. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"No. But Ed can be a bit ... difficult to deal with. He is very set in his ways and doesn't deal with defiance or change well. That's probably why he and Avery never really got along. He had a set plan for his only son. He would go to school and get a business degree, come back home, marry a local girl and become the business manager at the factory. Music never factored in, even though it was clear that it was what Avery loved, even from an early age." She smiled, her mind drifitng back in time. "When he was three, he would sit a my grandmother's piano in our living room and just bang on the keys for hours. Ed couldn't stand it and Tessa, Avery's older sister, would put these thick earmuffs on her head to drown out the sound."

Juliette smiled at the image of a tiny Avery pounding on a piano and she subconsiously placed her hand lightly on her own stomach, wondering if she would ever catch her child doing that. If the trait was hereditary.

"Look, Juliette," Diane continued, finally meeting Juliette's stare. "I know how much he loves you. I could hear it in his voice when he talked about you."

"He told you about me?" Juliette was shocked at this revelation. He had never talked much about his family, and yet, his mother knew about her. She couldn't help but wonder if that was by design. If he was keeping her away from his father.

"Yes, he did," his mother nodded. "We talked once a week or so. Before he met you he just seemed distant. But once you came into the picture, he acted alive. I know you gave him an opportunity to play music again, and that made him happy, but it was more than that. I didn't say so, but I knew it didn't really have anything to do with the music. It was you." Juliette couldn't help but smile at the woman across the table. "He never sounded like that with anyone before. And then when you two broke up ... I'd never heard him so devestated. So broken. He never would tell me what happened."

Juliette knew why and she figured his mother did too deep down. It's why the only people who knew about her and Jeff were the ones she told or who witnessed the atrocity or the aftermath first hand. Avery hadn't told anyone. His way of protecting her, she assumed, knowing that she didn't deserve protecting. Not from him at least. Yet, he had kept her secret, even to his own mother. The two women sat in a slightly awkward silence.

Finally Diane reached across the table, gently touching the top of Juliette's hand. "I want to be a part of this child's life, Juliette. When Avery went out on your tour, I kept up with all the news I could about you. So I know ... about your mother, and I'm really sorry she's not around for you right now. That must be difficult. I know I'm not her, but I am this child's grandmother. And you might need a friend who knows a thing or two about being a mom. I'd like to be that person, if you'll let me."

The young woman took in a deep breath, all the what if scenarios she had played over and over in her head that morning coming back to her in a massive wave that threatened to overtake her. "But what if ..."

Diane's eyes glaze over with tears, knowing exactly what Juliette was thinking. "No matter what. If God see's fit to take my son now, then he left me a precious little gift. That baby. That child will give us both something to live for. Can I please be Nana?"

Juliette couldn't understand the unexpected peace that came over her suddenly. She wouldn't be in this alone. She'd found another person who would love this child and be there for it and care about it more than anything else. It gave her hope. She squeezed Diane's hand in solidarity.

Below them, a phone rang suddenly. Avery's mother reached down and grabbed her's from her purse. She answered and her eyes immediately filled with tears as she listened to the voice on the other line. "Okay. I'm on my way," she responded.

Fear gripped Juliette yet again. "What is it?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"That was Ed. Come on, we need to get to the hospital."

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, I left it there. Sorry. Let me know what you think in the reviews! :)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**If I Only Knew Then**

**Chapter 3**

Same disclaimers...

Final Chapter. Slightly different narrative style, incorporating flashbacks. I hope you guys like it! I've been overwhelmed at the response so far. Loving all the insightful reviews. Hope to get some more of those for this chapter!

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>It was chaos. Utter chaos and all Juliette could do was stand there and watch helplessly.<p>

Her home, once her beautiful oasis of minimalistic elegance, had been transformed into a fairy princess wonderland, with swaths of pink tulle and lace and sparkles everywhere. That's what she gets for putting Emily in charge of party planning, she thought, shaking her head.

There were a massive pile of presents on a table in the corner. Bowls and platters of potato chips and chicken nuggets and popcorn filled the kitchen island. In the dining room, Diane and Scarlett fought with a pink table cloth, while Daphne Conrad stood nearby, patiently holding a basket of expensive party favors that would act as a centerpiece. In the kitchen, Emily was making punch. Maddie was supposed to be helping her, but the teenager had barely looked up from her phone all afternoon. Juliette knew the reason was a boy named Travis, who Maddie had met in study hall and had given her her first kiss during a field trip to the Hermitage a few weeks before. But Juliette wasn't about to spill that information to Rayna. Her label head and Deacon would be there shortly with the cake.

Turning around for one last look, Juliette was satisfied with the progress of the day. She smiled with joy as she read the huge banner that hung over the large windows that led to the terrace. It read "Happy 1st Birthday, Evie!"

The proud mother glanced over at the birthday girl herself, all dark curls, blue eyes and dimples, as she sat on the sofa playing some silly secret game with her Papa. Juliette smiled at the image of the little girl who was her heart and the man she had somehow formed a bond with over the past year and a half. She couldn't help but think back to her first conversations with Ed. How awful they had been. How heartbreaking. In those moments, she'd never have imagined that they would be happily gathered together under one roof.

But someone was missing.

* * *

><p><em>They were back up in ICU within five minutes of Ed's call to Diane. The doctor wanted to talk to them. Juliette had followed Diane into the hospital, but froze at the threshold of Avery's room. She watched silently as Diane immediately moved to her husband's side, while the surgeon stood at the foot of his bed looking over his chart.<em>

_"Mr. and Mrs. Barkley, I wanted to talk to both of you. At this point in Avery's recovery, I was hoping to see some improvement. But that hasn't happened. If anything, his vitals are dropping slightly, and they are doing so more and more rapidly." Juliette bit her lip as the doctor continued to talk about possible infections and the brain swelling. None of it was positive. "We've done everything medically that we can do, but I'm going to be honest with you. It doesn't look good. The only thing that can help him now is a miracle."_

_It was too much. As much as she fought it, her emotions got the better of her and a sob escaped from her lips, garnering the attention of Avery's father._

_His face went red as he noticed her in the doorway for the first time. He advanced on her in the blink of an eye and she was frozen in place with nowhere to go. "What are you doing back here?! I thought you had enough sense in your brain to stay the hell away, but I guess you are even more stupid than I thought."_

_Before she could respond, Diane was between them, nudging him back into the room. With a determined look in her eyes, she shook her head at her husband. "Don't, Ed! She came with me. I told her to. She's family now."_

_"She's not my family," he huffed, anger in his eyes._

_"Yes she is." Diane looked him in the eyes, pleading for his understanding. "I know this is difficult for you, but she is having our son's baby. Our grandchild. She is our family now. And I can't help but think that Avery would ... that this baby might make him fight just a little bit harder. That's why I want her here. To give him something to fight for. To live for."_

_Ed glared over his wife's shoulder at Juliette. He couldn't resist getting in another jab. "How do we even know that she's telling the truth? Hasn't it been well documented that she's slept around with have of this town? That could be anyone's baby."_

_"You're wrong, Ed," his wife said, shaking her head. "I can feel it in my heart. That is our grandbaby. You may not want anything to do with it. But I do. I know I can't make you do anything. But I am going to be a part of that child's life." Ed looked at his wife as if he had never seen her like this. Juliette couldn't help but think that he may not have. That being a grandparent somehow changed Diane ... gave her just enough backbone to stand up to her husband, just a bit. "And I want her here. So you can accept that or not. But she's staying."_

_The doctor, who had been trying not to listen in on the family drama, cleared her throat. "It's important that you do whatever you can to push him to fight. No matter who or what it is. If it might work, you should try it. Because right now, Avery is the only one who can decide what happens. The rest of us can just hope that something works. If you'll excuse me, I have another patient I need to check on." As the physician walked past Juliette, she nodded and smiled, and the singer knew that the doctor wasn't about to call a tabloid. Her secret was safe._

_Finally Diane spoke up again. "Juliette, why don't you sit with him for a while. Ed, let's go down and get coffee."_

_"But..." he protested._

_Diane was determined. "Please."_

_He glared at Juliette once more, but did as his wife asked. The two women shared a brief look as Juliette settled in to the chair next to the bed again. She knew she wouldn't be interrupted this time. That Diane would buy her time._

_Once again, she sat down next to the bed an gripped Avery's hand. "Please, Avery. I need you ... this baby needs you ... to fight." She stayed there for nearly an hour, begging him to fight. To stay with them. To be a father to this child. Then suddenly the noises coming from the machines that were monitoring his vital signs changed. What happened next was a blur._

* * *

><p>Suddenly the door that lead to the garage opened and 100 pink helium balloons attached to two pairs of denim clad legs fought their way into the house. Juliette struggled to keep from laughing as balloons began to fly off in every direction, reaching the high ceiling in seconds. The whole group joined in the laughter as the birthday girl got down from Ed's lap and toddled over to the balloons, frilly pink tutu skirt bouncing as she went.<p>

"Dada! Dada!"

From behind the balloons, Avery poked his head out, much to the delight of his daughter at his feet. She giggled and held her arms up to him. He handed his balloons over the Gunnar behind him and lifted the child up over his head kissing her nose as he brought her back down to earth. "Happy Birthday, sweet girl!"

"It's about time you got back." Juliette said, walking over and getting a kiss of her own. "Didn't want you to miss all the fun." She gestured to the over the top decorations covering the house.

He shrugged, smile on his face, as he bounced the happy child in his arms. "Sorry. Traffic was horrible." He leaned in closer to her, taking her hand. "You know I wouldn't miss this for anything," he said, in a low voice that no one else could hear.

"Hey, I know everyone is busy, but a little help would be nice." Gunnar's muffled voice suddenly arose from behind the wall of balloons. Emily rushed in from the kitchen while Scarlett and Diane ran over from the dining room to grab balloons, which were eventually tied onto every surface that wasn't already covered in pink. Ten minutes later Rayna and Deacon arrived with the cake, a masterpiece from an upscale bakery in Nashville. It was shaped like a princess crown and covered in edible sparkles and candy gemstones. Juliette couldn't help but roll her eyes at her assistant when she looked at the cake. Emily just smiled and shrugged.

From across the room, Juliette's eyes met Avery's as he and his dad worked together to tie the last of the balloons to the terrace wall just outside. It had been a long road, but they had all made it. And she couldn't help but think that despite the agonizing time they all went through, with the attach and the stalker and the subsequent trial, they all came out the other side stronger better people.

* * *

><p><em>It took a while after he started improving, but Avery was finally moved out of the ICU and into a regular room and would get to go home in a matter of days. After Juliette had had such a positive affect on Avery's recovery, Ed Barkley had backed off his attempts to keep her away. They had come to an understanding. He would make himself scarce when she was there and she would make sure that he had time too. Juliette had decided that Avery's father really did care about him. That wasn't the problem. Ed's issue was that he was a proud man, and his only son didn't turn out to be the man that he wanted. He would never approve of the music, and would always see creativity as a weakness. That was something that the two men would have to work on in their own time. But Juliette knew that Ed really did care. She just wondered if he would ever let down his guard enough to admit it.<em>

_The day after Avery was moved out of ICU, Officer Carrington showed up at the hospital to tell them all that the stalker, the man who's fingerprints were found both on the letters and at the scene of Avery's attack had been captured in a nearby apartment. The bedroom of the apartment was filled floor to ceiling with images of Juliette, some publicity photos or paparazzi shots. Others were photos that this man obviously took himself, and were found on a computer hard drive. The officer told them that some of the images were extremely personal ... that he had apparently been hidden outside her home on multiple occasions, peering into her window to get them. Juliette felt sick and violated when she was told that there were pictures of her and Avery together, and that this man had Photoshopped his own face into some of the more intimate images._

_She had been reassured that the District Attorney would be pressing the strongest possible charges and that the man was looking at a minimum of 30 years in prison without the possibility of parole, likely much more, due to the violent nature of his attack on Avery. Juliette knew that meant she would have to testify in court and that much of her private life would be put on display. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was keeping this nutjob locked up and as far away from her baby, Avery and her friends and herself as possible. She would do whatever she had to do to make that happen._

_Avery had been sleeping most of the time, which the doctor said was normal. He was still in a lot of pain and on a morphine drip, so sleep really was best. They had all taken shifts to make sure there was always someone there every time he woke up. Deacon, Scarlett, Gunnar and Zoey had helped out too. She was almost grateful that he had slept through all of her shifts. She still wasn't even sure where they stood. But she did know that she had to try to repair what they were. It wasn't just about them anymore. It had been decided that until he was completely ready, no one would mention the baby. Juliette would do it when the time was right._

_It was the third night he had been in a private room. She was sitting in the chair, staring out the window watching the sun set behind the hills west of Nashville, when she sensed movement on the bed. She glanced over to see his blue eyes watching her._

_"Hey," she whispered, standing and moving closer to him._

_He shifted a bit, watching her. "Hi."_

_She knew the whole situation was awkward, but the responsibility ... and love ... she felt toward him overpowered that feeling. "How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?"_

_"It's not too bad," he responded weakly._

_"I can get the nurse."_

_He shook his head. "I'm okay for now." She nodded, not knowing what to say. He closed his eyes and Juliette thought he was going to go back to sleep. But she was surprised to hear his raspy voice continue. "I was worried about you. After it happened." She looked up startled, seeing his eyes open again. "When I was lying there. All I could think about was you."_

_"Avery-" she said, not wanting him to upset himself by reliving that horror._

_But the words continued. "He was yelling. Telling me to stay away from you. Over and over again, he told me to stay away." She couldn't fight the tears that welled in her eyes as he relived those painful moments. "Then it all just stopped and it was silent and all I could see was the pavement of the parking lot. And the blood. My only thought was that he might come after you."_

_She placed a hand on his shoulder. "They caught him. Your mother told you that, remember? You're safe. I'm safe. We're ... all ... safe. He's not going to bother us anymore."_

_"When I was lying there, knowing that it was over, my one regret was you." He looked up at her and for the first time since she left the studio that night, their eyes met. "That I didn't try harder to understand. That I was so angry I couldn't see that I was partially to blame. That I didn't see how much you were hurting."_

_She moved to sit on the edge of his bed, feet dangling over the side, her back barely touching his hip. She looked down at him and took his hand. "Avery, don't say that. It ... all of this was my fault."_

_He rubbed the palm of her hand with his thumb, and took a deep breath. "That's not true, Juliette. I just gave up on us. I didn't even try."_

_"Yeah, well," she responded, fighting a wry chuckle in her own voice, "we can just call it even, because I gave up on myself too."_

_He shook his head and looked at her in a way that she had been certain she would never see from him again. A look of compassion, that she felt completely undeserving of. "I don't want you to ever do that. You are so much stronger than that."_

_This was her moment and she knew it. He was lucid and no one was around. "I kind of can't give up on myself any more." Her voice shook as she eased herself into telling him the truth. "Not now."_

_"What do you mean?" He was clearly confused._

_She took a deep breath and blurted out the word that had gone unspoken for far too long. "I ... I'm pregnant."_

_For a moment silence engulfed the room. She could see the wheels in his head spinning, trying to comprehend the implications of her confession. His face cycled through looks of terror, joy, fear and resignation ... all of the things she had been struggling with for weeks. Then, with only a slight hesitation Avery let go of her hand and moved his over her still slim belly. She closed her eyes at his touch. "It's ours?" he finally asked, in barely more than a whisper, almost as if he was afraid of the answer._

_She nodded. "I was already pregnant when ..." There was no reason to continue the statement. The blanks were already filled in. "I think it was just after I got back from LA."_

_He was thinking back to that time, before everything took such an ugly turn, realizing that this baby wasn't conceived at some dimly lit industry party by a man they couldn't stand. This child was made of love. The loved they'd had ... that maybe they'd have again one day. It would take work, they both knew as they sat there in the silence of that hospital room. Avery took a deep breath and nodded. "We're having a baby, then."_

_"Yeah."_

* * *

><p>Nearly sixty people filled the house for little Evelyn's first birthday party, including a who's who of music industry power players and their kids. Kids of all ages ran through the house laughing and screaming. Moms and Dads gathered in various out of the way places to keep an eye on the action and catch up on each other's lives. There were games outside on the terrace, which Emily had put Deacon, Gunnar and Scarlett in charge of. Rayna, Diane and Ed kept an eye on the food, claiming that they had raised their kids already. When it came time for Evie to open presents she sat in Juliette's lap with Avery next to them as Ed handed over the presents one by one. The cake was cut and a large piece was put in front of the birthday girl, who promptly grabbed some of the icing and smashed it in her own hair. Juliette was glad she had thought to hire one of her photographer friends to capture the precious memories.<p>

Finally, after hours of cleaning after the guests went home, there was a sudden quiet stillness. Ed, Diane and Rayna and Deacon had just said their goodbyes and all Juliette wanted to do was sleep for three days. She was exhausted. After a long hot shower, she threw on some comfy shorts and a tshirt and returned to the kitchen for some coffee. She curled up on the sofa and watched the two people she loved more than anything else in the world sitting together at the piano.

Evie sat in Avery's lap, clad in yellow pjs with feet that looked like ducks. Her hair was still damp from the bath Diane had given her before they had left. And her big blue eyes were glued to her daddy's fingers on the keys as he played the chorus to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow." It had recently become a favorite song of the little girl's, and occasionally she would join in, both in tune and in rhythm ... just lacking the actual words to the song.

Juliette smiled, thinking back to one year earlier.

* * *

><p><em>Big bright blue eyes looked up at them with curiosity. Only three hours old and already this little girl had stolen her parents' hearts. Juliette looked down at the precious bundle in her arms, still amazed that she had a part in making something so perfect.<em>

_Beside her, Avery looked so happy. "She is ... amazing."_

_She smiled up at him. "I think we did a pretty good job."_

_They fell into a comfortable silence. In the past seven months they'd had some serious discussions about their relationship and how they would raise their daughter. Neither one wanted to rush back into anything, though they both knew that they still loved each other. They weren't a couple again, but they were working to get back to that place. A relationship built on trust and friendship and honesty. They knew they couldn't rush it. That if it was meant to happen, it would happen naturally._

_Avery gently took the child from her mother's arms and walked over to the window where the bright lights of Nashville were glowing against the dark night sky. A thin layer of snow had fallen in the hours before and a few flurries were still cascading down from the sky. "This is your home. Nashville. This is where I met your mama. One day, I'll show you the exact spot where we bumped into each other." Juliette grinned thinking about that moment at the Opry. It really was the turning point for her life, even though it had seemed so insignificant at the time._

_A knock on the door grabbed both of their attention, as Avery's parents walked in, having just gotten to town. Ed hung back in the doorway, but Diane was immediately by her son's side to get a first glimpse of her granddaughter. The woman had tears in her eyes as she looked at the child in his arms. "Oh, honey, she is beautiful."_

_"Isn't she?" Avery said proudly. "Want to hold her?"_

_Diane looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "What do you think? Let me wash my hands first. Then you can hand her over." Diane disappeared into the bathroom and Avery met his father's stare._

_Juliette watched with interest from the bed. Avery's relationship with his father was only slightly less strained than it was before the attack. They were at least on speaking terms, but it was limited to "How are things?" and "What's the weather like where you are?" She was hoping the baby would garner Ed's interest, but so far, Diane was the only one who really wanted anything to do with her. But still. The fact that he even made the trip was progress._

_"Do you ... want to see her?" the new father asked, hesitantly. Ed nodded and Avery approached carefully cradling the tiny girl._

_The older man looked down, clearly fighting his emotions. For what seemed like hours, but was really only seconds, the room was silent as he took in the sight of his beautiful granddaughter for the first time. "She looks a lot like you, when you were born. The blue eyes ... and all that dark hair." Ed looked away and began clearing his throat. "Excuse me," he said as he stepped back out of the room and into the hallway._

_Avery looked over at his mother who had watched the whole scene from the bathroom doorway. She was just as affected as he was, both with tears in their eyes. Diane broke the silence, holding her hands out, reaching for the child. "Let me hold her." Avery handed her over to her grandmother and then walked back over to the bed where Juliette was watching the moments transpire. He sat on the edge of the mattress, still fighting his emotions as his mother started singing a soft lullaby to the baby. Without thinking he reached over and grabbed Juliette's hand._

* * *

><p>The sound of tiny hands pounding on the keys interrupted the beautiful melody the child's father had been playing, but it was the sweetest sound Juliette could imagine. Avery just laughed at her enthusiasm, and Juliette knew that Evie was bound to be talented. She took after her father in so many ways. Juliette thanked God every day for that.<p>

"Sunny! Sunny!" the girl chirped with delight when Avery ended the song.

"You want me to sing the sunshine song?" He asked. Juliette's favorite thing was to sit and watch them interact. Nothing was more special or more perfect to her. Their daughter looked up at him, grinned and nodded, causing the curls on her head to bounce up and down.

As he launched into the song, she was once again taken back in time.

* * *

><p><em>Juliette awakened to the words of "You Are My Sunshine" resounding from the baby monitor from the nursery down the hall from her bed room. For a moment she just lay there listening, thinking back to when he used to sing to her at night, when neither of them could sleep. Now he was singing to the little girl they both loved more than anyone on earth. But for a moment, in the dark of night, she could just imagine that the soft lullaby was for her too.<em>

_Eventually, she got up, pulled on a white satin robe and padded down the hallway to the nursery. Leaning against the doorframe she smiled at the scene in front of her. Avery was seated in the cozy rocking chair and three-month-old Evelyn was curled up into her daddy's chest as he rocked back and forth, still singing. His voice faded as he glanced up at Juliette, who pushed back the tears that threatened to spill._

_"Hey. Did I wake you?" Juliette shook her head as he pressed a soft hand to the baby's skin. "I think her fever's gone down. She's not as fussy as she was earlier."_

_"Good. You didn't have to stay this long," she said, looking at the clock on the wall. "You should have come and gotten me."_

_Avery smiled at her. "You needed to sleep. I had it under control. We went through just about every song I know, and I think I've figured something out. She loves Sinatra, Willie Nelson and Ray Charles, but I tried to sing 'Mandy' to her ... it didn't go well."_

_"Awe. So the Fanilow gene is not hereditary. So sorry." She joked, faking a frown at him, and moved further into the room. "Thank you. For staying to help."_

_"No where else I'd rather be." He glanced down and saw that the baby was finally asleep and he stood to place her in the nearby crib. Juliette joined him beside the crib and they just stared at her ... this amazing tiny person who somehow made all the chaos from the past year worth it. "I still can't believe we did that." He turned and looked at the child's mother in a way that he hadn't looked at her in months. Since before he found out about Jeff._

_Juliette struggled not to read too much into it, not to wish that he would just lean in and kiss her like she'd been dreaming about, so she just smiled. "Me either." Flipping on the night light and double checking the baby monitor, they left the room quietly, leaving the door slightly cracked behind them._

_"My dad called today," Avery said as they stood out in the hallway. "He's going to be coming though town next week for work and wants to have dinner with me. I wanted to bring Evie too, if that's okay with you."_

_"Of course it is." Juliette looked at him with both concern and admiration. "Are you ready for that?"_

_He nodded. "It's been better, lately. We talk sometimes, especially about Evie. He is always checking in about her."_

_"I think babies have a way of making people want to mend fences. It's like a second chance..." Her voice faded off as they both realized that her words could just as easily be about the two of them as it was about Avery and his father. Juliette cleared her throat, in an effort to break the silence. "Dinner will be good for you. Both of you."_

_His eyes met hers and for a moment neither of them were sure what to say. "We never even would have gotten to this point if it weren't for you and Evie. Thank you."_

_"You ... don't have to thank me."_

_"I know." He looked around the dark house and sighed. "I should head home."_

_"Avery, wait." He looked back up at her, and for a moment, she could have sworn she saw hope in his eyes. The same look she had been wearing since he was released from the hospital. "It's late. You ... should stay." The quiver in her voice gave her away, she knew. She wanted him to stay, to finally be okay with them moving forward. She had never stopped loving him and knew she never would. Especially now that Evie was in their lives. They were bonded forever, and she wanted more. But she wouldn't push him. Not this time. It had to be his call after everything she put him through before. "I mean, I have like four guest rooms. There's no need for you to leave at 2am."_

_He looked down at the keys in his hands, debating on what to do. Finally after battling with himself for more than a minute, he put the keys back on the table and moved to stand just inches in front of her. The air around them was electric and Juliette looked up into his eyes. They were filled with emotions she hadn't seen in what seemed like forever. Time stopped. "I'll stay. But I don't want to stay in the guestroom." Within miliseconds, his lips were on hers and all of the emotion and passion of the past came flooding back to them._

_It was suddenly like no time had passed. That Jeff had never happened. That they hadn't spent the past year apart. This was right and it was real. And Juliette knew that this was her forever. Finally._

* * *

><p>"Mama! Mama!"<p>

Juliette was pulled from her memories by her daughter's voice and a tiny hand tapping on her knee. She looked down to find Evie standing there with a present wrapped in white and pink paper in her hands. Juliette giggled and lifted the child into her lap. "What's this?" she asked as she kissed the dark curls that stuck to Evie's forehead. She glanced up to look at Avery, who had turned around from the piano to watch. "Did we miss a present?"

He shrugged. "I guess so. Better open it."

Juliette pulled a little bit of the paper, as they had done with all of the presents earlier in the day, and the birthday girl finished the rest. It took no time, as she had quickly figured out that a toy was usually underneath the paper. But that wasn't the case with this present. It was just a brown box. Evie instead decided to play with the silver bow that had been on top of the package. It was now sitting on her head.

As the box was unwrapped, Juliette saw that a note was taped to the top. She read it to herself. "This gift is for Evelyn's amazing, beautiful, wonderful mother."

She looked across the room at Avery, immediately recognizing his handwriting. Confusion marred her face as he just smiled and waited patiently for her to pull the lid off the box. As she did, she couldn't help the gasp that fell from her lips. The inside was filled with white satin, and in the center, a small black velvet box, opened to reveal a stunning diamond ring. For a moment all she could do is stare at the ring. Then she moved her eyes back to him. He stood and slowly walked over to the couch and sat down beside her.

"Think it's time. We're already a family, but I think it's time we make it official. I love you. I love our daughter. I love what the three of us have and I don't want anyone to question that. So ... will you marry me?"

Juliette was speechless as she fought the tears in her eyes. She took a deep breath and as she was gathering her strength to answer, Evie's voice rang out loudly. "Yes!"

They both laughed and hugged their daughter. Juliette leaned in and kissed him. "I guess that's your answer."

* * *

><p><strong>So that's the end of this story. It is actually the second last chapter I wrote for this. The first one I wrote on a day where I was in a mood and it turned out to be far too heartbreaking. In that version, Avery didn't survive ... yeah, I know. It was rough. Needless to say, I like this one better. Plus I have a thing for men and babies, so I wanted to incorporate that. :) Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!<strong>


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